[FREE] A Dream Deferred

A Dream Deferred

by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

What happens to a dream deferred? Well, there are a lot of different things that can happen to the dream that is put-off or postponed since it depends on what situation the person is in. The dream could have been with you the entire time because there was something that you regret doing while having that dream. Or the dream could have been forgotten.

In my experience, my dream was forgotten when everyone around me was against my dream. I was told that my big dream was impossible to achieve at this time in the world with the situation that I am in. My dream was to be some kind of artist who would be able to create something from their own hands, such as a painter, a sculptor, a writer, or a musician. But everyone in my family just kept on saying that being an artist won't bring in enough income to have food three healthy meals a day. Their influence made me disheartened to the point where I didn't want to chase that dream anymore. I haven't thought about trying to chase that dream ever again. But there are times when the memories I have made when I had that dream come back to me. There were happy and even sad memories. I treasured every single one of them. My dream was forgotten but I didn't regret it. I treasured it and tucked it deep within my heart and never brought it out again.

[RE] Not Cool To Waste Food

I stumbled across a quote, on Julie Le's post, that is similar to what my parents tell me everyday when I eat... literally:

"I grew up in a family where wasting food was not okay."

My family is always reminding me not to waste any food. The only way it is going in the trash can is if it is either overdue or not edible (i.e. fish and chicken bones). I also agree that no one should be wasting food. Wasting food is like wasting hard-earned money. The only way you can get food is by buying it, and the only way we can earn money is through a job, which is becoming more difficult to get and/or keep because of today's economy. So we are actually really lucky to be living in a home where we have food at least twice a day. There are people who are unlucky and are dying because they don't even have a grain of rice to eat.

We should also be really grateful for the food as well because it does not magically appear from thin air. There are people who grow the food by hand, with the help of machines, which is a tough job. So wasting food is like saying that you don't really care about how hard those farmers and the people who earn money to buy the food (i.e. parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, even yourself) worked, so that you could eat in order to live or just to satisfy your urge to eat. So we should all show some respect by not wasting food.

I'm not saying that you should always force yourself to finish the food even if you are really full. There are ways to avoid that. You can give your food to someone else, or you can save it for later. All I'm trying to say is that it is definitely not okay to waste food, especially since it is going to become harder to get food with the economy going down.

[RE] Time Just Flies By

There was a quote from Alyssa Lasuer's post that really made a big impression on me:

"I feel as if we are all just growing up way too fast."

I agree with this completely. Time seems to go way too fast. One day I was a baby and then the next thing I knew, a high school student. There are a lot of things that I wanted to change in my past because I regret choosing whatever I did or didn't do. But life is definitely way too short for us to regret anything and waste your precious time to just think that you want to change something that already happened and can't be changed. Plus those bad decisions and actions can be a good lesson in life.

There are also times where I would not have enough time to ponder about something more deeply, so I would want time to pause. But if time were to pause for every moment that I would want to ponder about something more deeply, I wouldn't try my hardest at it. Instead, I might just slack off since I would think that I have a lot more time and procrastinate. So time is better off not pausing at all.

Whenever there is a happy moment where I was really enjoying myself, I would just to feel like that forever. But if that were to happen, I wouldn't even know what the sadness means. And if I didn't know what sadness meant, then how would I know what happiness meant? So having time stop would be meaningless and can even make me have a zombie heart where I would feel nothing.

But whenever something sad happened, time would seem to go really slow. I would just want time to go faster so that the painful feeling would go away as soon as possible. But if that were to happen, how would I be able to handle anything else that makes my heart hurt? I wouldn't be able to do anything with a weak heart and no confidence, so I won't be able to become stronger. And if I can't become stronger I wold be a bother to others becase I won't be able to take care of myself. So I should forget about rushing time to go faster.

I think the best thing to do is to just live in the present.

[BC] Live Like There's No Tomorrow(?)

After reading Steve Jobs' speech, it caught my attention and made me think about my own life:

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." -Steve Jobs, in a 2005 speech

I agree to an extent with this idea of living as if there's no tomorrow. We are all going die someday so we should try to live with no regrets by doing what we should do first and try to not waste any time. But there is a limit to this advice because we are not really going to die the next day. We shouldn't always think that "today is our last day" every day, and try to rush things. It will just cause us to worry a lot for no reason. If you know that you are dying the next day, would you be able to fully enjoy that last day of yours? So, rather than saying that "today is the last day of my life", I would rather be saying that "I am going to die soon" because I wouldn't have a feeling of being too rushed when making decisions. I tend to make bad decisions when I am rushed, so I don't want that to happen.

It brought to my attention how I am just wasting my life by doing such meaningless things such as watching television when I'm bored when there are more important things to do such as community service or doing something to help the people in the future. But the important choices that you chose to make, does not have to be a major change in your life. You can start with a small change such as eating healthier or helping around the house more. It really makes a big difference even though the change seems so small.

This speech really makes me want to try using this advice (well, only a part of the advice). If I were to start following this advice tomorrow, I would probably wake up without complaining about not getting enough sleep and wanting to sleep more, because I should be grateful that I can be active for another day and make more happy memories at school with friends, and at home with my family. I would go to school with a positive attitude too, since there is no point in being gloomy because of things that you think are embarrassing or something. All of those things will seem really insignificant when compared to death. Just by changing a few things that I would do every day, I feel that my life would be more meaningful and fulfilling.

[FREE] Weird Dream...

I had the most weirdest dream one day in fifth grade. I was being chased by a BIG WHITE BALL. The ball was about ten times more bigger than I was. The walls, ceiling, and floor were checkered with black and white colors which reminded me of the pattern on the flags used for starting a race car competition. When the ball started to move towards me, I tried to run away as fast as possible. I felt that I was going pretty fast, but the ball was even faster. I became scared because I didn't want to get squished by the gigantic ball and die.

When the ball was right behind me, I tripped and landed on the floor faced down. I thought that I was going to die. I couldn't cry out since it seems that I had lost my voice. The ball ended up running me over and, surprisingly, I didn't die. When the ball was rolling over me, it felt like a bunch of blankets (which was kind of heavy) rolling over me, and the floor felt like the softest bed that I could have ever imagined. I was really happy that I didn't die.

The ball was coming for another round so I tried to run away again. I was so tired from running really fast the last time that I gave up and just stood there. The ball ended up knocking me down and rolling over me again. The ball still felt really soft, and so did the floor. Somehow, I ended up thinking that having the ball run over me was fun because it didn't hurt at all. So I started to run towards the ball and deliberately let the ball run over me a few more times. I felt that it was a stupid thing to do but I didn't care. I could almost sense myself smiling and even hear myself laughing. I didn't know if I was actually smiling and laughing or not, since I was dreaming. After having a lot of fun, the ball suddenly disappeared, and then I woke up and smiled to myself because the dream was weird and funny.

I usually get hit by balls such as soccer balls, footballs, volleyballs, baseballs, basketballs, softballs, etc. a lot. I might have gotten over the fear of getting hit by balls because of this weird dream of my mine.